Mom in DCity

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Top 10 Things You Can’t Do With a Gimpy Wrist

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It has been three months since my clumsy fall outside Lira’s school that caused me to break my wrist in two places. After two surgeries, five weeks with a cast and a few sessions of physical therapy (thank you, MedStar NRH!), I wish I could report that I’m back to normal… but I’m not.

I had no idea my wrist would be so stiff and need so much work. To give you an idea, I can turn my right wrist 90 degrees (as in, palm facing up) and my left wrist 35 degrees. That may sound awful (and it is), but it’s actually a big improvement from 12 degrees, which is where I started.

You don’t realize how much you use your left wrist until you can’t. Each day, I notice another thing that I can’t do, and all I can do is laugh about it.

Here are the top 10 things I can’t do with my gimpy wrist:

  1. Carry a pizza. I use the palm of my right hand with the back of my left hand, and it’s quite the balancing act.
  2. Open a jar of pickles, olives or pasta sauce. On those days that I try to make dinner before Dave gets home from work (and let’s be honest, they aren’t often), certain things are no longer on the menu.
  3. Cut corn on the cob. Are we noticing a theme? Either I only use my left wrist for food-related tasks or all I do is eat. Take a guess which one it is.
  4. Pick up my Kitchen Aid mixer.Another food tragedy, but this one is serious. Dave recently bought me a tangerine Kitchen Aid mixer as a late Christmas present and I can’t move it from one part of the kitchen to another. This may seem minor, but since it’s my favorite new toy and I’m testing to find exactly where I want it, it’s quite upsetting (do I want to mix my peanut butter cookies by the window or facing the dining room table??)

    My Love!
  5. Fix my hair. Did you know that you use two hands to dry, curl or straighten hair? I didn’t either! But, trust me, you do. And for those of you who’ve noticed me looking less coiffed lately, this is why. I even chopped off 5 inches in an attempt to make it more manageable. No such luck. [Read more…]

Red Card(!) For Not Shutting Up About Soccer

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There was an article in the BBC today called “How Much Football Can You Talk About to a Non-Fan.”

It’s one of the first articles Dave has ever sent that I actually decided to read. I have my ideas about the answer to that question (2 minutes or until they fall asleep, whichever comes first), but I was curious to hear from the experts.

I already know Dave’s opinion on the subject: talk about soccer as much as possible to as many people as possible, regardless of whether or not that care, despite the fact that they’re sleeping, cursing or no longer in the room. It’s his personal mission in life to convince all non soccer-lovers that they are mistaken.

If this sounds like an exaggeration, check out this convo we had tonight:

Me: Dave, come here for a sec.

Dave: What?

Me: It’s about soccer.

Dave: Yeeeeesssssssss? (how did he get in here so fast? it was like a bolt of lightening.)

Me: Is it ok to talk soccer to people who aren’t interested?

Dave: I think it’s fine to talk to non-fans as much as I want, because if they don’t know what’s going on- they should. How else are they going to learn?

Me: Ok fine, but when should you stop talking?

Dave: I guess when they roll their eyes and zone out I know they’re not interested. But you’re a special case. It’s going to take years to wear you down, but you’ll like it eventually. It’s already working! Remember how much fun you had at the last DC United game?

Me: No, I don’t remember.

Dave: Remember when I took you to see Beckham? That was pretty cool, wasn’t it?

Me: I guess. Can you go away and stop talking to me about soccer now?

Dave: You’re the one who called me over here!

According to the BBC article, there’s an assumption (in Britain) that people who don’t care about “football” are a bunch of unpatriotic “ninnies.” Obviously soccer is a much bigger deal overseas than in the U.S. but, even in England, a new poll shows that less than half the population is interested in the sport. But never fear, soccer lovers— Dave is, single-handedly making up for that on this side of the pond.

Our Children Are Brainwashed

He strategically found our current home just 5 blocks from DC United’s stadium, he’s been a front-row season ticket holder for years, doesn’t miss a game, subscribes to Fox Soccer channel so he can record and re-watch games, writes letters to the MLS commissioner about mistakes he thinks are being made in the league, has bought every one in our family (not just the immediate one) a soccer jersey, and… well, you get the picture. Sometimes I feel like Drew Barrymore in movie, Fever Pitch… which I just found out was actually a remake of a British film about how a fan’s obsession with Arsenal got in the way of his relationship.

Drew Barrymore and Jimmy Fallon

I have tried for years to curb the soccer talk at our house. I mean, what is there to discuss when you’ve just had a 90 minute conversation with the television? But he is persistent… even learning random tidbits about players’ wives, hoping to peak my interest in any way possible.

“Dave, I’m not listening. Dave, I stopped caring 5 minutes ago. Dave, that’s enough!” Nothing works.

The BBC article quotes an etiquette expert who says it’s rude to discuss “football” with people who don’t want to hear about it… but then it quotes football fans who don’t care whether it’s rude or not. They say they can’t help themselves, and the rest of us should just get on board. So what’s a girl like me to do? Whether it’s American football, baseball, or golf (yuck), a man’s love affair with his sport-of-choice is here to stay. In the meantime, I’m trying to come up with a topic that’s as uninteresting to him as soccer is to me…  so that I can torture him with it, of course. Any ideas?