We’re taking the summer off from dance. It’s the first time in four years that we won’t have a dance class every Saturday. We have a lot of plans this summer, and dance just doesn’t fit into the equation. I’m not sure what that means for her So You Think You Can Dance future, but we’re risking it.

Lira’s first dance recital was a couple of weeks ago. She’s been waiting for it since she started taking classes at Joy of Motion when she was 2 years old. The recital was everything she hoped and dreamed of—the  lights, the costumes, the hair. It was just like an episode of Dance Moms except the kids aren’t wearing half shirts and bootie shorts, Miss Crystal is no Abby Miller, and Capitol Hill moms are definitely not dance moms. In fact, they’re pretty much the opposite. For example…

They don’t know a thing about hair. I may have had to watch a YouTube video (or 3) to learn how to do a proper ballerina bun, but I did it! Not everyone got the bun badge of honor, though. One mom who shall not be named actually took her kid to a barber shop to avoid dealing with the hair nets and donuts (not the Dunkin’ kind).

 

They don’t dress their kids like Jean Benet-Ramsey. There wasn’t a set of red lips, a trace of body glitter, nor a single half shirt in sight. And based on the snack choices, it didn’t look like anyone had put their kid on the proper dance diet either. (Don’t you people know how many calories are in those granola bars? Sheesh)

They Don’t Show the Proper Dedication. The recital was about 45 minutes from the Hill… and boy were there complaints… and forgotten ballet slippers… and tights… and hair bows. A few kids didn’t even show up to the “mandatory” dress rehearsal and at least 2 showed up in sundresses and sandals.

Abby Miller would be appalled… and so would a lot of people I know from high school who actually are proper dance moms (I’m from Texas, you know). And they’d really be appalled to know the #1 dilemma faced by Capitol Hill moms of girls: dance vs. soccer. They’re at the same time on Saturdays. What’s a Barber Shop Mom to do???