Our favorite festival of the year has been in town for months and we almost missed it! Every weekend we seem to have one too many birthday parties, school festivals, soccer games and family commitments. But this Sunday it was do or die. Last day of The Renaissance Festival and we couldn’t let it pass without making our annual pilgrimage to 16th Century England.

Allow me to count down my favorite three Fs of the Renaissance Festival:

Freaks
Remember all those kids in high school who used to wear trench coats, smoke in the bathroom, and pierce something new each week? Well this is their reunion– and we’re all invited! From the moment you walk through the castle gates, you see everything from kings and queens to goths and goblins. And for some reason, you’ll also run into Shrek, Big Bird, and a creepy old man dressed like a baby.

Oh and the boosoms. They are everywhere. Heaving. The only thing is missing is the embrace of Fabio on the cover of a romance novel. Point is: the people watching is the key reason to make the trek out to Crownsville, Maryland (about half an hour from DC).

Food
Imagine all of your favorite fair fare, only better! You will eat like King Henry VIII celebrating his seventh divorce… and Henry VIII might even join you. I’ll save you the cash and calories and help you cut to the chase: get the turkey leg.

Actually, get two of them so you don’t have to share. My girls have shed tears when the turkey leg is done. Once that runs out, get the fried pickles, and finish with the cinnamon roasted pecans. You won’t be sorry. Plus, you burn so many calories walking around all day that it’s almost like you’re eating celery.

Frenzy
 There is so much to do at the Renaissance Festival that you could practically live there. I think some people actually do live there during the festival, but only the special ones. There’s a maze, a museum of unnatural history, jousting, juggling, pony rides, and actors performing everywhere you turn. It’s hard to tell who’s getting paid and who’s just there for fun. Everyone is 100% in character and loving every minute of it. The girls got their own head gear (which I proudly borrowed for part of the day), and we all got our faces painted.

I’ve been getting my face painted at the Ren Fest since I was 1 year old, and I don’t think I’ll ever get sick of it. I’m glad the girls love it as much as I do. We ended the day dancing with ribbons at the May Pole, then hopped back into our magic time machine (silver Prius) and headed back to the 21st century.

We all learned some important life lessons at the Ren Fest this year. Zana learned that port-o-poties are gross. Lira learned the word “creeper.” Dave learned that Budweiser and Marlboro Reds were abundant in Renaissance villages. And I learned that half shirts always have been and forever will be in fashion.

Until next year, loyal readers…