Something has happened to my beautiful, loving, caring, first-born: I think she’s possessed. It sounds extreme, I know, but I can’t think of any other reason why she’d be saying the things that are coming out of her mouth or acting the way she does.

Besides telling me I’m a “bad mom,” and screaming publicly “I don’t like you!”, she also roars and growls like a wild animal when she doesn’t get her way.

Look at this sweet, angelic face:

Can you imagine her acting like such a terror?!

I don’t think I ask for much: get yourself dressed, hold my hand when we cross a busy street, no dessert if you don’t eat any dinner. You’d think I was forcing her into the coal mines when I ask her to put away toys.

So here’s my new plan: Lira’s favorite thing in the world is her after-school Spanish program. She wants to stay until very last minute, and is upset when I pick her up any earlier. So, I told her Monday that when she doesn’t do what she is supposed to in the morning, she will get picked up early. So far, she’s gone to after care twice, got picked up early once and will be picked up early again today. 50/50 isn’t so bad, I guess?

It’s only fair to note that I was a terror of a child (surprising, I know). Not always, but definitely in my pre-teen and teenage years. And also my early 20s. And the late ones. And, well… don’t ask Dave because he’s sure to tell you that I’m still a terror of a child. But not when I was 5!

Did you or your little angels ever go through a phase like this? If so, how did you deal? I’m trying not to go Albanian on her, but if all else fails…