Today was the last soccer game of the season for the yellow team aka the Golden Hawks. The Yellow Lemonades, who lost every single game last season, were back with a new attitude and a new name—so much promise! Week after week, we watched the Hawks get trampled. By the end of the season, they lost six games and tied one. However, we weren’t just losing on the field, we were also losing the soccer mom game. When the rival Orange Crush came to the field in matching logoed sweatshirts, we knew something had to change.

One of my favorite mom friends texted me…. “oh it’s on.”

“Yeah! It’s SO on!” I responded, not even knowing what we were talking about.

The next text was a link to some crazy hair bows I hadn’t seen since the 90s. All yellow and black, adorned with soccer balls.

“You down?” She asked. (Yes, we always use cool-mom lingo when we text).

Before I knew it she was at the craft store sending me pictures of different ribbon options. I tried to play it cool, swiftly responding about which ribbons would go best together.

“I’ll split these up and drop off your half.”

Pump. The. Breaks.

Has she met me?? I’d clearly taken my cool-mom act too far because this woman thought I was going to MAKE these funky 90s hair ribbons for the final game. I did what any faker does best and called all of my crafty friends to see who could come over and make the hair ribbons for me. Everyone was busy! I’d have to attempt this project myself.

First, cut the ribbon.

Next, use a hot glue gun to connect them in a zig-zag pattern. I plugged in the hot glue gun and realized I’d never used one before. I FaceTimed the mom I borrowed it from so she could explain the mystery contraption every crafter swears by.

Zig-zag pattern done. Now sew the ribbons to a rubber band.

At this point, I decided to look on Etsy and try to get some of these things overnighted at any cost.

Not possible.

I threaded the first needle I’ve touched since my mom taught me to sew buttons in elementary school.

“Mom! This is so cool! I can’t believe you’re making these!” It was almost as if the girls knew how much encouragement I needed. I was sweating.

But then my in-laws stopped by and, since we all know it takes a village, Dave’s dad and sister helped me sew the rest of the ribbons to the elastic bands and glue soccer balls on top.

Now the scary part… use a lighter to singe the ends and make sure the ribbon doesn’t unravel. Once you get over the fear of burning your house down, this is actually the coolest part!

Fast forward to this morning. When the last game started, it wasn’t the same team on the field. There was something different about these girls.

They were running faster, and standing taller. It was clearly the hair ribbons.

The Golden Hawks fought hard today. But alas, they lost 3-0.

Did they spend part of the game catching raindrops in their mouths?

Yes.

Did they lose more games than any other team this season?

Yes.

But I’ll tell you what… no team in the league had better hair than those Golden Hawks. I’m calling that a win.