Something has happened to my beautiful, loving, caring, first-born: I think she’s possessed. It sounds extreme, I know, but I can’t think of any other reason why she’d be saying the things that are coming out of her mouth or acting the way she does.
Besides telling me I’m a “bad mom,” and screaming publicly “I don’t like you!”, she also roars and growls like a wild animal when she doesn’t get her way.
Look at this sweet, angelic face:
Can you imagine her acting like such a terror?!
I don’t think I ask for much: get yourself dressed, hold my hand when we cross a busy street, no dessert if you don’t eat any dinner. You’d think I was forcing her into the coal mines when I ask her to put away toys.
So here’s my new plan: Lira’s favorite thing in the world is her after-school Spanish program. She wants to stay until very last minute, and is upset when I pick her up any earlier. So, I told her Monday that when she doesn’t do what she is supposed to in the morning, she will get picked up early. So far, she’s gone to after care twice, got picked up early once and will be picked up early again today. 50/50 isn’t so bad, I guess?
It’s only fair to note that I was a terror of a child (surprising, I know). Not always, but definitely in my pre-teen and teenage years. And also my early 20s. And the late ones. And, well… don’t ask Dave because he’s sure to tell you that I’m still a terror of a child. But not when I was 5!
Did you or your little angels ever go through a phase like this? If so, how did you deal? I’m trying not to go Albanian on her, but if all else fails…
“go albanian” on her. what’s that, like postal? lol! I only have a 2 yr old so the public embarrassment is more along the lines of rolling on the floor, crying hysterically, or pushing me away. nothing verbal…yet…That said, aren’t all things childhood-related “phases”? That’s what parents of older kids will tell you anyways. Hope your daughter understands that her words hurt you — she can say other things that are more directly related to the situation instead of attacking your motherhood. I don’t know how much 5-yr olds process, but if she can understand that a consequence LATER is for something she did wrong EARLIER, than continue with the Spanish lesson thing. Otherwise, maybe try more immediate consequences. But again, I only have a 2-yr old.
Albanian, when relating to child-rearing, is very similar to going postal actually. Ha!
I know that fun phase you’re going through. Good times. It will pass… and then it will come back. Then pass again. It’s true about the phases.
I have always done the immediate consequence thing, but I think she is old enough to understand the later ones now. We shall see…
Listen, Jack threw such a bad tantrum this morning that he accidentally peed his pants. Want to know why? Because he didn’t like the direction I walked through the living room. I have no answers, but I can say that you are not alone. Bribery (AKA threats) seem to work fairly well most of the time.
He peed his pants from tantrum-ing?? That’s serious.
I’ve told you for years not to walk in that direction through the living room, and now you know why.
We need to discuss these threats and bribes. I’m a fan of both, but I’d like to know exactly what is bribe/threat-worthy in your home.
I love this post! Hilarious!
Since you asked, I’ll go ahead and let you know that we do something very similar. It’s all in the wording, though, so that it can be a life lesson. Lira’s definitely old enough for this bc Graham “got it” at three.
I’ve told them that there are consequences for every choice we make. There are good and bad consequences. We use that word a TON around here, and the kids have made it part of their vocabulary. It helps make delayed consequences, like being picked up early, easy to understand.
Dessert after dinner?
Well… You chose to use manners and eat without complaining. And good choices have…good consequences! Yay- you get dessert
-OR-
Ummm…Remember how you threw yourself on the ground and refused to eat even half of your dinner? That was a bad choice. Bad choices get bad consequences, so…not happenin’ tonight!
It works for us…Feel free to use this info (good choice) or lose it (bad choice). JK! There’s irony behind me giving advice. Just read my last blog post! :p
Consequences! That’s excellent. I will be trying that, for sure.
Just (re)read your blog post. You totally have this mom-thing under control.
Besa,
You always crack me up! I miss you!! Leticia you have it down and so do you Besa. Its true the phases all come and go, but they pay way more attention to what you teach them then you think. One day when they are much older you will hear some little nugget of wisdom pop out when they are talking to their friend in the back seat of the car on the way to football or something. You’ll try not to cheer out loud because you just discovered that they have been pay attention all along. Just hang on and each difficulty will pass.
You, my dear Amber, have always been a pro. Miss you tons. I will keep my ears perked in hopes of hearing my wisdom retold.