If you’re reading this, then I’m going to assume that you’re not grossed out by poop. The title sums up what you’re about to hear. I was having a hard time choosing between the one above and “Why Won’t You Poop on the G*dd&#n Toilet Instead of Everywhere Else?!” but “Purse Full of Poop” seemed catchier, no?
Zana, who turns 3 in February, still hasn’t made the decision to poop on the toilet. I say “made the decision” because I know she’s 100% capable of doing it. She pees on the potty without a problem (most of the time), but #2 has only happened on the potty a few times. Recently, we’ve started forcing the issue by having her wear underwear instead of Pull-ups.
The logic goes something like this: she’ll go all over herself a few times, not like the feeling, and then use the potty forever after. Unfortunately, our trickery hasn’t worked. Here are a couple of my favorite not-wearing-a-Pull-up moments from the past week:
1. I pick up my darling daughter at school and receive the exciting news that she didn’t have any accidents that day. Hooray! When we walk in the house, I say “Zana, let’s go to the potty.” To which she replies, “I don’t need to.”
Then, within one minute, she tells me she peed in her pants. I calmly start cleaning up the puddle of urine while she takes her clothes off and puts them in the laundry room. I don’t even get to finish the job when I hear, from the other room, “Mommy, I poopied!”
What the…???
“Where?” I ask; it wasn’t anywhere obvious. My little girl had climbed naked on top of the brown, leather ottoman, squatted, and done her business. I was so grossed out that I wanted to wipe her little butt with the Lysol wipes, like I used on the ottoman… but I refrained.
2. Some neighborhood friends invited us over for dinner for the first time. Everything was going beautifully– the kids were playing in the basement and the grown-ups were enjoying a lovely meal and multiple bottles of wine. Zana had used the potty at least once, so I was feeling pretty good about my decision to let her wear underwear… until I heard those dreaded words: “Mommy, I made a poopie!”
Ummmmmmm “In your pants!?”
Did I really have to ask? I tried to act casual around our gracious hosts, taking Zana into the hallway to assess the damage. It was ugly. I asked for a plastic bag and used almost an entire package of wipes cleaning her behind, legs, feet(?!), everything. Zana got dressed in the change of clothes I brought (yay for thinking ahead-ha), and put the bag of nasty-ness in my beautiful new purse that I bought last week. I’d just have to sort it out later (or throw the whole thing away at home– but they were her cute little skinny jeans and I really like those!).
I thought we’d moved on until the older girls came up the stairs carrying a dress-up skirt covered in– you guessed it– poop. “Ewwwwwwwwww,” they said as they crinkled their noses. “There’s poop on this!”
Seriously?! I can’t figure out how that happened. Did she shove the tutu down her pants? I mean, it was covered. We ended up throwing it out instead of trying to wash it, if that gives you any idea of how much poop was involved.
Our friends told us a couple bathroom stories of their own, in an effort to make us feel less-embarrassed. But all I kept thinking was “please don’t let them find any more of Zana’s poop strewn around the house.” I have a feeling they’re too nice to tell us if they did.
MomInDCity readers, you have to help me. Zana’s school says to keep her in underwear, but just today I got another bag of her soiled clothing from the teacher. Yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck!
Any suggestions?
We need to go back to TJ Maxx and get you a new purse! Sorry, that is not helpful. Have Lira train her–Lira can tell her that she and her friends use the potty and she can stay in the bathroom with Lira if L will let her..
I think you’re right– specifically about the fact that we should go shopping for a new purse immediately.
Good entry! The title was very catchy!! Not quite as good as “You’re a bad mom” but up there! This is a subject so many can relate to. Jack is the same as Lira in that you KNOW he knows what he is supposed to do. Somehow, they just don’t care enough about our sanity to do it. So I made it about him. He was pooping in his underwear fairly regularly (and it was on par with the nastiness you describe. I can remember thinking I would never have enough wipes. At one point, poop got on the OUTSIDE of my car), so I told him any day that he pooped in his pants, no cartoons the next morning. I honestly think that was the last time he ever pooped in his pants. Now… a lot of people say you’re not supposed to punish them for potty training accidents, but at their age, with their mental capabilities, sometimes, imo, they just need a little more incentive.
The outside of your car?? Impressive.
I know you’re not “supposed” to punish them for these accidents, but I’m totally with you. I try so hard to be matter-o-fact about the whole thing. “Come on, Zana. Let’s clean this up together.” But let’s be honest, she can see right through it all.
I haven’t tried bribery yet. That is the obvious next step.
Persevere!!! But also recommend some very cheap pants & undies. Perhaps being unfashionable will motivate her! 🙂
I’ve been throwing undies away like they’re Pull-ups. But cheap pants… brilliant! I’m off to the thrift store for her new wardrobe!
what about like a reward system for when she DOES poop on the potty ~ like a trip to Baskin Robbins just her and mommy or something like that. Donuts, cupcakes… a new purse for HER.. something really special. And of course, lots of praise, hand clapping high fives etc when she does it.
Good luck. I’m glad I’m not dealing with that.. yet.. 😉
At this point, I’m happy to give her *my* purse if she’s go on the potty. We’ve got the high fives down, but it’s probably time to up the ante.
I really wish I had some practical advice but since I’m not potty training J yet, I have no first hand experience. I read the comments above and I think that the “no cartoon” or other “punishment” is appropriate here b/c you aren’t punishing for accidents. In this case, you are punishing for outright rebellious behavior. I also like the one about the really special treat when he does #2 on the potty. Hope you find your solution and fast, before all of your purses have been filled with poo.
Thanks for the support, Lisa– and for the tweet! It’s time to rally the troops on this one.
Don’t give up. The school is right. Go back now, and the battle gets worse IMO. Perseverance is key. Have you put the plastic pants over the undies? And are they thick training undies? That helps contain some of the nastiness. Also, have I told you Hannah’s story of her bringing me the handful of poop she had just done on the floor? (Including poop footprints across the carpet, because she had also stepped in it in her effort to clean it up.). Good poop stories earn you a new parent badge of honor. Be proud! (Plus it’s good blackmail fuel for the future.) 😉