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Potty Training and a Purse Full of Poop

November 19, 2012 by momindcity 11 Comments

If you’re reading this, then I’m going to assume that you’re not grossed out by poop. The title sums up what you’re about to hear. I was having a hard time choosing between the one above and “Why Won’t You Poop on the G*dd&#n Toilet Instead of Everywhere Else?!” but “Purse Full of Poop” seemed catchier, no?

Zana, who turns 3 in February, still hasn’t made the decision to poop on the toilet. I say “made the decision” because I know she’s 100% capable of doing it. She pees on the potty without a problem (most of the time), but #2 has only happened on the potty a few times. Recently, we’ve started forcing the issue by having her wear underwear instead of Pull-ups.

Uh oh, about to blow?

The logic goes something like this: she’ll go all over herself a few times, not like the feeling, and then use the potty forever after. Unfortunately, our trickery hasn’t worked. Here are a couple of my favorite not-wearing-a-Pull-up moments from the past week:

1. I pick up my darling daughter at school and receive the exciting news that she didn’t have any accidents that day. Hooray! When we walk in the house, I say “Zana, let’s go to the potty.” To which she replies, “I don’t need to.”

Then, within one minute, she tells me she peed in her pants. I calmly start cleaning up the puddle of urine while she takes her clothes off and puts them in the laundry room. I don’t even get to finish the job when I hear, from the other room, “Mommy, I poopied!”

What the…???  

“Where?” I ask; it wasn’t anywhere obvious. My little girl had climbed naked on top of the brown, leather ottoman, squatted, and done her business. I was so grossed out that I wanted to wipe her little butt with the Lysol wipes, like I used on the ottoman… but I refrained.

2. Some neighborhood friends invited us over for dinner for the first time. Everything was going beautifully– the kids were playing in the basement and the grown-ups were enjoying a lovely meal and multiple bottles of wine. Zana had used the potty at least once, so I was feeling pretty good about my decision to let her wear underwear… until I heard those dreaded words: “Mommy, I made a poopie!”

Ummmmmmm  “In your pants!?”

Did I really have to ask? I tried to act casual around our gracious hosts, taking Zana into the hallway to assess the damage. It was ugly. I asked for a plastic bag and used almost an entire package of wipes cleaning her behind, legs, feet(?!), everything. Zana got dressed in the change of clothes I brought (yay for thinking ahead-ha), and put the bag of nasty-ness in my beautiful new purse that I bought last week. I’d just have to sort it out later (or throw the whole thing away at home– but they were her cute little skinny jeans and I really like those!).

I thought we’d moved on until the older girls came up the stairs carrying a dress-up skirt covered in– you guessed it– poop. “Ewwwwwwwwww,” they said as they crinkled their noses. “There’s poop on this!”

Seriously?! I can’t figure out how that happened. Did she shove the tutu down her pants? I mean, it was covered. We ended up throwing it out instead of trying to wash it, if that gives you any idea of how much poop was involved.

Our friends told us a couple bathroom stories of their own, in an effort to make us feel less-embarrassed. But all I kept thinking was “please don’t let them find any more of Zana’s poop strewn around the house.” I have a feeling they’re too nice to tell us if they did.

You’re lucky you’re cute

MomInDCity readers, you have to help me. Zana’s school says to keep her in underwear, but just today I got another bag of her soiled clothing from the teacher. Yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck!

Any suggestions?

Filed Under: Motherhood Musings Tagged With: potty training, potty training problems, pullups or underwear

Potty Party on the Front Porch!

August 16, 2012 by momindcity 11 Comments

Any day that I get a package from BeeBop (my mom) is a good one. And yesterday’s mail came at the right time; a 5-hour work meeting had me feeling pretty cranky.

We ripped open the box and it was even better than I had imagined: a potty training gift pack!

As you know, Zana started going peepee on the potty at school last week. She only does this at school, and pretends she doesn’t know how when she’s with us.

Since BeeBop knows that a party ain’t a party unless we’re all invited, she sent new undies for everyone!

For the potty trainee… bloomers!

For the big sister… multiple fluorescent options that she believes look better layered.

For Daddy… underoos! No really. Superman underoos and Bevis and Butthead boxers.

And for me… a bunch of goodies from Victoria’s Secret.

Naturally, all of these needed to be modeled immediately. Outside in the street. For everyone to see.

I’ll spare you the pics of Dave posing like Superman in his underoos and me wearing a VS thong with the girls’ fairy wings and pretending I’m in the annual Victoria’s Secret Fashion show. But trust me, Dean Cain and Heidi Klum would be jealous.

When the paparazzi was done taking pictures, we all went inside and I changed Zana’s wet diaper.

If you think I’m stressed about this whole potty training thing, you’d be wrong. My potty training philosophy is that I don’t have one. I was apparently fully potty trained by 18 months, but that’s because BeeBop was an overachiever. Zana is already 2 ½. It’ll happen eventually, right? Before college?

What’s your potty training philosophy? And, more importantly, what are your favorite kind of undies?

Filed Under: Motherhood Musings Tagged With: family fun, peepee on the potty, potty training, undies for kids

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