Motherhood Musings Archives

The Internet is the New Baby Book

June 16, 2017 by momindcity 2 Comments

Remember when I used to sit up at night writing memories in a baby book for my children to cherish forever and pass down to their children and their children’s children? Yeah, me neither.

Lucky for kids these days, we have the internet. When I started writing a list of all the things I love about Lorik in commemoration of his birthday, a Word doc on my computer or a text convo with Dave didn’t seem quite celebratory enough. So I’m sharing it here.

I love the way Lorik…

Grabs a blanket and sits on the couch and says “get cozy”
Has very specific views on utensils and changes them multiple times each meal (think grilled cheese sandwich with a fork)
Says “NEE-night” when he’s ready to go to sleep and “chair” if he wants to be rocked first
Dances (ok, gallops) whenever he hears music dance party
Says “Come on Baby” every time a certain Ed Sheeran song comes on
Runs fearlessly into the pool no matter how many times he ends up under water
Never gives up when I tell him he can’t have something, yet instead of throwing a massive tantrum says “wheh ee e go?” aka “where did it go?”
Won’t leave the house without “Nana” or “EE-ya” EVER and constantly checks on them if they’re not in sight
Gets curly hair when the humidity rises
Likes to stare at himself in selfie mode on my phone and say “Lo-WICK” with a hard K at the end
Is freaked out when I make a fish face and wants to make sure it’s still me, so he keeps saying “mommy? Mommy?” until I stop
Loves Shrek with a passion only felt by Fiona
Shrieks loudly when things around him get noisy… just to make sure his voice is still heard
Confuses the colors pink and green
Knows every word to “1, 2, 3 Texas” including “di-WOAH” and “Hot Pepah… Spicy”
Always skips the number 3. “one, two, four…”
Says “not nice” to himself when he does something that’s not nice
Whacks his sisters with a light saber and says “A-Star Wars!”
Says “okay” as often as Lil John
Wants to push any and all buttons aka “butts”
Sings “Raining, pouring…” and then makes up the rest anytime anyone says the word rain
NEEDS his coffee at the corner shop. We can’t pass the place without him going in for “KAH-fee” and high-fiving the owner
Perfected the hug at such a young age. He could seriously teach a class on how to hold on tightly and never let go.

Happy Birthday, Lorik. I hope I make you even half as happy as you make me. #forevermyboobear

A Is For Apple, F is For…

May 8, 2017 by momindcity 1 Comment

You know when kids have that exciting breakthrough in reading? They’re no longer struggling to sound out works, but instead announce every word they see loudly to the world- so confident and proud. This is Zana right now.

“Barber shop!”

And a few minutes later, “do not enter!”

As we were leaving her sister’s Capitol Hill soccer game this past weekend she couldn’t wait to yell out the two words spray painted on the electrical box: “F*ck Gil!”

Shocked silence from everyone including me.

“SHHHHH,” I said just as loudly as she had screamed “f*ck!”

“What?” She was confused.

I told her it wasn’t a nice word and that she shouldn’t say it ever again.

Zana: what does it mean?

Me: don’t worry about that. All you need to know is not to say it.

Zana (whispering): ohhh you’re going to tell me when we get to the car?

Me: no, you just need to not say it

Zana (no longer whispering): I’m just going to keep saying “f*ck” until you tell me what it means!

Typical Zana. The same kid who wasn’t satisfied with my answer to how babies come out (“between your legs”) and grilled me on how a human could come out of a “peepee hole.”

You just never know how far the conversation will have to go with that one.

So I gave the best on-the-fly answer I could come up with: “It’s a not-nice word for sex.” (*please don’t ask me what that means*)

And she didn’t.

F*cking Gil and those f*cking kids he ticked off. Now can we please get this cleaned up before next Saturday so other parents don’t have to explain f*cking profanities to their kids??

Our Anniversary: He Had Me at ‘Maybe Later’

December 4, 2015 by momindcity 8 Comments

Today is a big day—11 years married to the Marine I met in Jacksonville, North Carolina. Who would’ve thought that the guy who didn’t even want to dance with me would be my husband and baby daddy all these years later?

I remember the night we met at Sywanyks Nightclub, a bar covered in Marine paraphernalia that I never noticed thanks to one too many Red Bull and vodkas. My friend pointed at Dave from across the bar and remarked on how cute he was. “You should go talk to him!” I told her. “No, YOU should go talk to him,” she said. Never one to turn down a challenge, I marched my tipsy self over to the table where he was playing Jenga and tapped him on the shoulder.

“Hey, do you want to dance?” I asked.

He looked at me like I had interrupted open heart surgery.

“Maybe later,” he said and turned right back around.

“Ok! I’ll be right over there whenever you’re ready.” Can you spell loser?

I kept slamming down cocktails and suddenly someone tapped me on my shoulder.

“You ready for that dance?”

Under normal circumstances, I would have said “hell no,” but Pour Some Sugar on Me was playing and you really can’t dance to that alone.

We danced. And danced… to Rob Base’s It Takes Two, Nelly’s Hot in Herre, and (of course) J-Lo’s Love Don’t Cost a Thing.

He bought me a drink and I pretended to sip it, then said I needed to use the ladies room where I poured it down the toilet because I had already had one too many but wanted to keep talking to him.

The club was closing and my friend and I needed a ride home. Somehow, I wound up wearing a French beret and snuggling with Dave in the trunk of an SUV. When we got to my friend’s house I turned to Dave and gave him an almost-kiss (as in I turned my head at the last minute and gave him a hug instead), and went inside to sleep it off.

The next day I got a voicemail from the Marine at the bar. And then he called again. And again. I couldn’t remember what he even looked like. What if he wasn’t even cute?!

On the fourth call, I answered. We talked for hours. We went on a date that week and have been inseparable (for better or worse) ever since.

Dave jokingly reminds me that he had me at “maybe later.” But I’m pretty sure it’s true.

I try to “maybe later” him back all the time. Playing it cool. Pretending I don’t notice how lucky I am. But anniversaries make me sentimental. Time moves too fast and I can’t believe we’re here all these years later. Is our marriage good? Is it bad? Is it easy? Is it hard? Will we be doing this for another 11 years? Yes. Every day, yes.

To the man who:

Serenades the baby to sleep with his guitar
Takes hours putting the girls to bed because he loves reading to them
Loves fabulous food, but also doesn’t mind eating cold soup out of a can
Thinks real men don’t own more than one pair of shoes
Jams out to Better Than Ezra and Beethoven
Will never stop trying to teach me how to read a map
Never thinks our crazy life is crazy enough and always wants MORE kids
May secretly be Albanian because he’s so stubborn
Believes I’m beautiful
Always wants to go somewhere with me
Never complains
Always loves me
Had me at “maybe later.”

Dave, I love you. Happy Anniversary.

My Holiday Card is Bigger than Yours Na-na-na-na-na

December 3, 2015 by momindcity 11 Comments

Some of you will receive your annual holiday card from the Pinchottis soon. The extras arrived at our house yesterday and I was shocked and impressed with myself. This is no ordinary holiday card. This is bigger and better than any you’ve seen from us before. And when I say bigger, I mean BIGGER.

Before you start talking about me behind my back, consider this: there are many reasons why one’s card would be this big. You never know what that person is going through or how much sleep they had before purchasing.

Let me help you by presenting these reasons why my holiday card might be bigger than yours:

Shutterfly increases your card size based on how cute your family photo is.
We are trying our hardest to keep up with the Kardashians.
I’m from Texas.
I really wanted to make sure you got a good look at the pores on my nose.
I’ve been to your house and you really need some new wall art.
You said you miss me and I want you to feel like I’m always with you.
Go big or go home.
I thought, when you add a family member, you add 10 inches to your card size.

Leave it up to Shutterfly to make their standard card a 6×8. I knew 30 was the new 20 but I didn’t realize “life-sized” was the new “standard.” I did wonder why each one cost $24.75. Don’t say I never bought you anything. If you haven’t received your card yet, it may be because it didn’t fit in your mailbox. You should really buy a bigger one because this is only the beginning. Just wait until next year when the Pinchotti doll collection comes out.

And while I’m over here acting like Kanye, I’m going to take this opportunity to share a few more of our family photos taken by the fabulous Gabrielle Zoey:

Soccer Team Loss, Soccer Hair Win

November 7, 2015 by momindcity 5 Comments

Today was the last soccer game of the season for the yellow team aka the Golden Hawks. The Yellow Lemonades, who lost every single game last season, were back with a new attitude and a new name—so much promise! Week after week, we watched the Hawks get trampled. By the end of the season, they lost six games and tied one. However, we weren’t just losing on the field, we were also losing the soccer mom game. When the rival Orange Crush came to the field in matching logoed sweatshirts, we knew something had to change.

One of my favorite mom friends texted me…. “oh it’s on.”

“Yeah! It’s SO on!” I responded, not even knowing what we were talking about.

The next text was a link to some crazy hair bows I hadn’t seen since the 90s. All yellow and black, adorned with soccer balls.

“You down?” She asked. (Yes, we always use cool-mom lingo when we text).

Before I knew it she was at the craft store sending me pictures of different ribbon options. I tried to play it cool, swiftly responding about which ribbons would go best together.

I have strong, intelligent opinions on this.

“I’ll split these up and drop off your half.”

Pump. The. Breaks.

Has she met me?? I’d clearly taken my cool-mom act too far because this woman thought I was going to MAKE these funky 90s hair ribbons for the final game. I did what any faker does best and called all of my crafty friends to see who could come over and make the hair ribbons for me. Everyone was busy! I’d have to attempt this project myself.

First, cut the ribbon.

Next, use a hot glue gun to connect them in a zig-zag pattern. I plugged in the hot glue gun and realized I’d never used one before. I FaceTimed the mom I borrowed it from so she could explain the mystery contraption every crafter swears by.

Zig-zag pattern done. Now sew the ribbons to a rubber band.

At this point, I decided to look on Etsy and try to get some of these things overnighted at any cost.

Not possible.

I threaded the first needle I’ve touched since my mom taught me to sew buttons in elementary school.

“Mom! This is so cool! I can’t believe you’re making these!” It was almost as if the girls knew how much encouragement I needed. I was sweating.

But then my in-laws stopped by and, since we all know it takes a village, Dave’s dad and sister helped me sew the rest of the ribbons to the elastic bands and glue soccer balls on top.

Now the scary part… use a lighter to singe the ends and make sure the ribbon doesn’t unravel. Once you get over the fear of burning your house down, this is actually the coolest part!

Fast forward to this morning. When the last game started, it wasn’t the same team on the field. There was something different about these girls.

Life isn't perfect, but my hair sure is. — “Life isn’t perfect, but my hair sure is.”

They were running faster, and standing taller. It was clearly the hair ribbons.

The Golden Hawks fought hard today. But alas, they lost 3-0.

Did they spend part of the game catching raindrops in their mouths?

Yes.

Did they lose more games than any other team this season?

Yes.

But I’ll tell you what… no team in the league had better hair than those Golden Hawks. I’m calling that a win.