Motherhood Musings Archives - Page 3 of 10

10 Reasons You Can’t Get Married in Kindergarten

June 7, 2013 by momindcity 2 Comments

Lira’s about to graduate from Kindergarten, which can only mean one thing… it’s time to get married! At least, that’s what some of the boys in her class seem to think. I mean, she did get her ears pierced so she’s all grown up and it only makes sense- right?

When I was her age, I used to chase boys around the playground singing Kenny & Dolly’s “Islands in the Stream,” but I didn’t actually want to marry them. I just wanted to profess my undying love. No one in between… how can we be wrong? Sail away with me…

One boy, who felt our connection, picked apart a daddy longleg and eat it one leg at a time to prove his manliness. That’s real love.

But kids these days just want to rush things. Lira comes home with “so-and-so wants to marry me,” or “so-and-so tried to kiss me,” every other day. Dave and I just look at each other, terrified.

Since Lira can’t fit into my wedding dress yet, we had to nip this thing in the bud. On a recent hike through Cabin John, we had a serious conversation about why she can’t marry the latest boy who wants to tie the knot with her.

We told her there were at least 10 reasons that was a bad idea. And Ms. Sassy Pants needed to hear all 10 of them. Here’s what we came up with.

He still lives at home with his parents.
He doesn’t have a job.
He hasn’t even graduated.
He wanted to marry your friend last week.
His friend also wants to marry you (and that’s just awkward).
He didn’t give you a ring. (come on Lira, haven’t I taught you anything?)
He hasn’t asked for our blessing.
She doesn’t have enough money in her piggy bank to pay for the wedding.
The divorce rate is extremely high for marriages between six year olds.
He tried to kiss you and hasn’t even asked you on a date—that’s just ungentlemanly.

Lira giggled harder at each one on the list, and I think we bought ourselves some time. No wedding bells until at least 2014. Whew…

Did I miss any reasons? Let me know in the comments section.

Ear Piercing and Being Brave… Twice

May 21, 2013 by momindcity 26 Comments

Lira has never been a daredevil. If I weren’t her mom I might call her a chicken—Bbrrk, brroock, broock, brk-ooock. So I was surprised on Saturday when she said to me, on the way back from a birthday party, “Mom, I want to get my ears pierced.”

Really??? Just the other day she told me (Taylor Swift-style) that she would “never ever ever—like ever” get her ears pierced.

“Are you feeling brave?” I asked. She nodded.

I decided to seize the moment. We were almost home when I turned the car around and drive to the mall. We tried calling and texting Dave on our way there. No answer. I made an executive decision: this was happening.

When we got to Pentagon City we headed straight to Icing, which is supposed to be a classier Claire’s. Lira picked out tiny green daisy studs and sat in the chair without an ounce of fear. “You scared?” I asked. She told me she wasn’t. “Just nervous,” she said.

"Not scared, just nervous." — “Not scared, just nervous.”

The piercer distracted her with talk of princesses and, before we knew what happened, one ear was pierced… and then the other. Not a tear in sight! Who is this kid???

We walked (actually, she skipped) back to the car and tried calling Dave again to share the news. He congratulated her, told her he was proud of her and then asked to talk to me. Uh oh. He was not happy. He said “6 is too young! She’s growing up too fast! Why not let her be a kid for as long as possible?” But to me this isn’t a kid vs. grownup thing. This is about bravery. I was so proud of her. But more importantly, she was so proud of herself.

Lira shared her ear-piercing experience at show-and-tell, and came rushing home to give me a hug and tell me about it. But there was just one problem… one of her earrings was missing!

We rushed back to the mall, this time with Dave and Zana in tow. The hole was closed! Apparently, in the first 6 weeks, the hole closes as soon as the earring comes out. The only thing to do was re-pierce that ear. Time to test just how brave Lira really was.

Don’t worry, she did fine. The real spectacle was Zana sitting on Dave’s shoulders sobbing and drooling into his hair, then rubbing it in for good measure– all because she wanted her ears pierced too. Between Dave’s nervous sweat and Zana’s tears, we gave that place a bath.

Bravery has never been Zana's issue — Bravery has never been Zana’s issue.

By the way, if you notice in pictures that she’s wearing two different earrings, it’s because the store was out of the green daisies. So there’s a white one to in one ear and a green one in the other. We know better than to try to switch out the other earring to match.

How old were you when you got your/your daughter’s ears pierced? Was it an ordeal or no-big-deal?

Motherhood: It’s All About the Purse.

April 22, 2013 by momindcity 6 Comments

My Kindergartner has been writing poems in school. Like, actual poems. I don’t think I could write my name at that age.

Her first poem was about Spring, and it blew my mind. We had just gone to see the Cherry Blossoms in East Potomac park, and they obviously made an impression.

Spring Blossoms

Oh Spring, Oh Spring
Oh the blossoms in the wind
As white as snow, they sparkle and shake
And shake in the wind

Seriously. She wrote that without any help!

So when I saw that her assignment was to write a poem about her mom and one about her dad, I was excited. I couldn’t wait to see our mini Maya Angelou came up with. Are you as excited as I am?!

Ok, here goes…

My mom has a purse
It is filled with her stuff
A brush, her phone
And others

I was so right about it bringing a tear to my eye. Why is she talking about my purse, of all things? Hasn’t she seen all my shoes??? I also have socks. Lots of them.

“Um Lira… is that what you think of when you think of Mommy? Not all our special times together? Just my purse?”

“No, I talked about your phone too.”

Good point; she did. Maybe the Spring poem was a fluke? Perhaps she’s less Maya Angelou and more Joan Rivers?

But her poem about dad proved otherwise:

I love my dad
When I go to bed he lays down with me
I love my dad
And he loves me

There you go. All love and snuggles. Not a single mention of his wallet or phone.

So I asked “Lira, do you think you can write another poem about Mommy? One that talks about something else?”

“You don’t get do-overs when it comes to homework, Mom.”

I think there’s only one way to cope with this type of thing. When she and Daddy are snuggling and reading bedtime stories, I’m going purse shopping… unless y’all have any better suggestions?

Sensitivity is for Sissies– at Least One of Them

April 14, 2013 by momindcity 2 Comments

The fam has been passing around a stomach bug for the past couple of weeks. I was the grand finale. The bug took me out and I spent a full 24 hours moaning under the covers.

Zana was concerned. “Mommy, are you ok?”

“Ugh, Mommy might throw up,” I told her.

“Drink some water and you might feel better. Want me to bring you something to eat?” Every half an hour or so, I’d hear those 3-year-old feet running down the hallway into my room to check on me. She’d kiss my arm and ask me if I was any better.

Meanwhile, downstairs… Lira was on Disney.com and couldn’t be bothered. When she came upstairs for a bath she finally noticed something was wrong. “Are you ok, Mom?”

“Not really, Sweetie. I think I might puke.”

“EWWWWWW! Don’t puke on me! And don’t puke in my room either!”

Ohhhhh, so all that vomit that I was planning to spew all over her Barbies should go somewhere else? I’m glad she said something. Who knows what I would have done otherwise.

I managed to keep everyone’s room vomit-free and felt better the next day.

It seemed like a good time to talk to Lira about sensitivity.

“Remember when Mommy was really sick yesterday and you told me not to throw up on you or in your room? Can you think of any other responses that may have been more kind?”

Blank stare.

Maybe she needs a hint. “How about something like… ‘I hope you feel better soon?”

“Can I go color with chalk?” Man, I should have puked on that chalk.

“No– I want you to tell me what else you could have said. I was very sick and you were only worried about your room. What do you think you could have said instead?”

“Ok mom, you can throw up in my room. Now can I go color with chalk?”

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how it’s done. I’m sure that, from now on, Lira will be the most empathetic girl this side of the Mississippi. And I am free to get stick to my stomach in any room I choose. Success!

Anyone else have any award winning talks with your kids lately?

My 6-Year-Old Teenager’s First School Dance

February 14, 2013 by momindcity 7 Comments

The evidence has been building, and it’s all pointing toward one thing: Lira is turning into a girl. Yes, I’ve known her gender since well before birth– but this goes beyond pink onsies. Here were the first clues:

1. “I want to go to my hair lady!” During a recent mall visit, I suggested a quick haircut at Cartoon Cuts. They show you cartoons while they do your hair. What’s not to like about that?! But little missy wasn’t having it, and I wasn’t in the mood to argue. We went to her hair lady later that week.

2. “Everybody’s going to laugh at me!” When I didn’t fix her hair the way she wanted it yesterday, she sobbed that she’d be the laughingstock of Kindergarten. So I did what any reasonable mom would do: yanked the rubber bands and barrettes out of her head and told her to it herself.

3. “I can’t wear this!” This one happened tonight when we showed up at her school just in time to walk her into the cafeteria for the Valentine’s Day dance. She was wearing her DC public school uniform, and was mortified at the thought of going to the dance without going home to change first. I pointed out that a lot of other kids were in their uniforms. After sobbing, then apologizing, then asking me again (politely this time) if I’d take her home to change… I told her Daddy could if he wanted to. He’s a sucker for those tears.

When Lira arrived back at school, she twirled right onto the dance floor like she owned the place. That Easter Dress from 2 years ago apparently hasn’t gone out of fashion.

She paired the dress with hot pink leggings-- a bold choice — Now she’s ready for her close up

The school dance was one to remember. It was a lot like a night out at a club minus the liquor.

The kids were jamming to unedited Nikki Minaj songs (I swear heard the F bomb, but nobody else seemed to notice), teaching each other how to Dougie, and crawling on the floor in an effort to prove that they do, in fact, have the Moves Like Jagger.

Baby You're a Firework! — Baby You’re a Firework!

Wouldn't leave her sister's side for a second — Will you puh-leese teach me how to Dougie?

By the end of the night, they were sweating, taking off articles of clothing, and had spent way too much money on pizza, juice boxes, pictures, and Mardi Gras beads. They didn’t even have money for a cab ride home, but it’s cool ’cause they found some suckers to drop them off.

It's a Party in the USA! — It’s a Party in the USA!

Here they are just before the dance ended:

Then it was straight home to binge on Valentines candy before bed. They fell asleep talking and giggling while I listened from the other room.

“We went to the disco ball… you were dancing like this… remember when you did this?”

I remember hundreds of nights in college that ended the same way.

If Lira has to be a “girl,” at least she’s one who knows how to party. Maybe I’ll be one of those moms who tags along with her daughters at the club. Wouldn’t that be awesome?!